I Have a Secret…

So, it’s been a while since I’ve blogged… told you I wouldn’t be very good at this. LOL… I figured I’d let you into a little secret of mine that people don’t realize about me… Hell, I didn’t even really realize it until I read this blog post.

Yep, I’m an INTROVERT.

This is a personality trait that is often misread as being shy. Growing up, I was always referred to as “quiet” or “shy” or “well-mannered.”… Even as an adult people tell me I’m quiet. But as that Huffington Post blog states: “A lot of introverts can pass as extroverts.” And that’s what happens with me. Most people, even my closest friends, would think I’m an extrovert because I can get along with just about any crowd and have a seemingly good time. But what they don’t know is that I’m calculating everything in my head. What I’m going to say, how I’m going to act, how I think you’re going to react, etc. #16 says it perfectly in the post: You have a constantly running inner monologue. “Extroverts don’t have the same internal talking as we do,” says Olsen Laney. “Most introverts need to think first and talk later.”

Another one that stuck out a lot was #8: Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards.
As a CPST, I often have to give lessons and classes in front of many people… and I’m not nervous AT ALL. But afterward? When we just mingle? Total shutdown mode and I feel awkward.

Every.single.one of those points in that post fits me to the T. So, if I ever seem socially awkward or quiet or bored.. or,or,or.. in your presence, don’t take offense to it… because chances are it’s just because I don’t know what to say or do or how to act. In times like that, I usually bury my face in my phone or go to the bathroom (even if I don’t need to..lol) or do weird tasks that are unnecessary, like wipe a table with a napkin while I’m sitting in restaurant (or fold the napkin or a piece of paper.. a lot).

I think I do a pretty good job of putting on a confident front and making myself seem like I’m outgoing.. but sometimes it does get exhausting, so I seem to fall off the face of the earth sometimes… and for that, friends, I’m sorry. Just bear with me. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m secretly an introvert.. but I guess it’s not a secret anymore… ;P